Pennies for Pedophiles  

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* Dear Friends,The Catholic Church needs your help!

As you have probably read in recent news reports, many priests have been charged or have had lawsuits filed against them for molesting boys in their parishes. These lawsuits threaten the very foundation of the Catholic Church, our finances.

The Cardinals and His Holiness the Pope recently met at the Vatican to discuss this critical matter. At this historic meeting methods of financing legal settlements with the victims of the priest's crimes were discussed. The overriding concern of the Cardinals was that Church records show in the past 30 years there have been over 10,000 reports of sexual abuse by priests. If each case received a financial settlement averaging US$ 600,000 the Church would rapidly become insolvent.

Methods to raise funds for these legal settlements were discussed. The Cardinals proposed selling off the Vatican's extensive art collection, which was rejected. His Holiness the Pope suggested a yearlong marathon Bingo game and bake sale, but the Cardinals did not believe that was feasible.

After days of discussion, a method of voluntary contributions through special offerings was decided on. These offerings will start the first Sunday in June and will continue until at least $60 million has been raised. We are pleased to announce our new offering program now known as:

Pennies for Pedophiles

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At each Mass we will conduct this special offering. We believe it would draw undo attention to the molestation problem if we announced this special offering in Church, so the Sisters of St. Pedo have constructed special offertory baskets which Church members will recognize as being for the pedophile funds. Just look for the basket shown below and dig deep into your pockets to raise the funds needed to get us out of this unholy mess.

Special offertory basket for Pennies for Pedophiles


ENTER THE OFFERTORY BASKET















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