|25 Ways for you to Know, You've Been Online
01. Technical Support calls "YOU" for
02. Someone at work tells you a joke & you say
03. You keep begging your friends to get an
account so "we can hang out".
04. You've to get a 2nd phoneline so you can call
05. You don't know where the time has gone.
06. Your wife now complains of you moving your
fingers in your sleep instead of talking.
07. Your kids are eating cereal morning, noon, and
08. You find yourself sneaking away to the
computer in the middle of the night when your wife is asleep.
09. You find yourself lying 2 others about your
10. You'd rather tell people that your bloodshot
eyes are from partying 2 much than the truth - online all night.
11. Your dog leaves you. Your wife threatens to...
12. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet
some folks face-to-face.
13. You have a map on the wall with lots of red
pins to mark where people are you have met.
14. You bring a bag lunch & a cooler to the
15. You go thru "withdrawal" if you are
away from the computer for more than a few hours.
16. You wake up in the morning and the first thing
you do is get online before you've your first cup of coffee.
17. Your relationship online has gone farther than
any real one you have had.
18. You get up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom but turn
on the computer instead.
19. You stop typing whole words and use things
like brb, dunno and :-)
20. You type faster than you think.
21. You actually enjoy the fact that you are
22. You dream in "text".
23. You double click your TV remote.
24. You check your E-mail and forget you have real
25. You set your kitchen on fire while cooking
dinner because you wanted to "check your mail"
|Some "Computer Terms" you need to know
TERMS BACKUP What you do when you run across a
skunk in the woods
BAR CODE Them's the fight'n rules down at the
BUG The reason you give for calling in sick
BYTE What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro
CACHE Needed when you run out of food stamps
CHIP Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
TERMINAL Time to call the undertaker
CRASH When you go to Junior's party uninvited
DIGITAL The art of counting on your fingers
DISKETTE Female Disco dancer
FAX What you lie about to the IRS
HACKER Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking
HARDCOPY Picture looked at when selecting tattoos
INTERNET Where cafeteria workers put their hair
KEYBOARD Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
MAC Big Bubba's favorite fast food
MEGAHERTZ How your head feels after 17 beers
MODEM What ya did when the grass and weeds got too
MOUSE PAD Where Mickey and Minnie live
NETWORK Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the
ONLINE Where to stay when taking the sobriety test
ROM Where the pope lives
SCREEN Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
SERIAL PORT A red wine you drink with breakfast
SUPERCONDUCTOR Amtrak's Employee of the year
SCSI What you call your week-old underwear